It's a Sunday afternoon and of course that means everyone is napping but me. I was looking forward to a nap but our church gets out at such a weird time that I have a hard time actually falling asleep by the time we get home, eat lunch, and put Brynn down. We had a long busy day yesterday so everyone is feeling it, Brynn even slept in until 10 am this morning. Brad and Brynn have already been asleep for two hours and I'm running out of things to do SO...
I've had a lot on my mind so this post will most likely be a lot of word vomit that no one cares about. So if that's not your thing I suggest you stop reading now.
I feel like there is so much pressure to be the perfect mom. Maybe it's all in my head but I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one who struggles with the feeling of needing to be perfect. You know the mom who never raises her voice at her kids. The mom who only feeds her kids balanced and organic meals. The mom who is in better shape after kids than she was before, who does their hair and makeup everyday. The mom who keeps a clean and organized house 24/7. The mom whose toddler can recite the ABC's, can count to 10, and knows all their colors because she sits down and gives them a hour long home school lesson each day.
I'm here to tell you I'm not that mom AT ALL.
I get so frustrated with myself when I raise my voice at Brynn. Oh, how I wish I were more patient with her. I often have higher expectations for her and have to remind myself that she's only 2 and although to me she seems so big, I realize how small she still is. She teaches me love and forgiveness on a daily basis. If we are being honest here, I HATE cooking. Most days Brad makes dinner and there have been days where Brynn has eaten more packets of fruit snacks than I care to admit.
Oh how I miss the days when I thought I was "fat". Although I didn't gain much weight with Brynn's pregnancy it TERRIFIES me to think of how much weight I could gain this time around. Mostly because I know how hard it is for me to lose it and I'm already starting off bigger. And what's the point of doing your hair and makeup and dressing all cute when in all reality you know your makeup makes your skin break out, that beautifully curled hair is just going to end up in a messy bun on the top of your head because it keeps getting in the way, and it's a lot easier to keep up with your wild toddler in leggings than it is in jeans and cute wedges.
If parenting has taught me one thing it's that comparison is the thief of joy. I am so guilty of comparing and I need to realize that every mom and child is different and that is OKAY. There have been many times where I've said "well Brynn can't do this or that like so and so can" instead of focusing on the things that she can do and does really well. No one feels good when their weaknesses are compared to someone else's strengths. And I certainly don't want to pass on my weakness of comparing the different aspects of my life to Brynn.
So if you are that mom, HUGE kudos to you (and please teach me all your tricks because I want to be that mom too!) But if you're like me and have your downfalls give yourself grace and realize you're doing better than you think you are.
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